I was in a good mood, we were at a thanksgiving service, so I gave him the summarized version “He had another girlfriend” he looked at me, gave me his stunned look and said so?
I was confused, he looked away and then looked at me and said again so? “he had another girlfriend and so?” at this point I didn’t know what to do. He was genuinely upset that I broke it off with a guy because he had another girlfriend. You see, he is of the view that a woman must fight for her man and not just give up because another woman appears. He added that everybody has someone in the picture it’s up to you to get his attention on you and off the other person. Using himself as an example, he said that when he met his wife she had a boyfriend. Hhehehehe. This talk reminded me of the term “close marking”
Back in GIJ , a male friend of mine spent all his time with a girl who had a serious boyfriend. I couldn’t understand him but he always said he was close marking. If you have ever fallen for a guy who had a girlfriend you would understand what close marking is but if you haven’t let me help you out. Close marking is when you stay very close to someone you like, not too close to suffocate them and not too far for them to forget you but just close enough, hoping and praying that their current partner will make a wrong move and as soon as that happens you will present yourself as a more viable option. That is close marking.
I have never been a fan of that; it seems like time wasting to me. Spending all your time hoping that someone will slip up so you can have their man is just too desperate(yea that and constantly calling a guy and whatsapping him even if he doesn't respond too). Seems like you putting your life on hold whilst you watch someone else live theirs.
So I always bounce when I know or find out a guy I like has a girl, I don’t like to be a second wheel primarily because I will always wonder what if there is a third or fourth wheel. But this talk with my colleague got me thinking. All the nice and suitable men are taken, what if close marking is the way to go. You meet a nice guy, you have a really nice conversation, you think you may have found the one he brings out his phone to take your number and you see a very nice picture of him and a girl, you would not need a prophet to tell you that the guy is taken, what do you do? You get introduced at a party, you have a nice conversation, you feel the chemistry just then his phone rings, he picks up his voice changes and you know for a fact that he is talking to that special someone. what do u do? Do you bounce like me or you decide to go into close marking mode.
In an era where all the fine men are either hooked or having problems in their relationships, close marking seems like the best option for a single girl oo. But wait a minute, what do you stand to gain if you spend all your time waiting around for a guy to notice you only after the woman he is with has messed up? what happened to getting your own life or finding your own man.
I know being single can be hard especially when people will not miss an opportunity to remind you of your age, or the fact that your mates are getting married or the fact that you are single because its your fault but finding a man should not feel like a chore such that you have to be on guard every time hoping for someone else's slip up.
While I wait to take a decision on whether to close mark next year of not, i will remember that when God decides to answer my prayer for a man he will most definitely not send me another woman's man.
By akosua ogyiri
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