Where can I find single Africans? The answer to this question was much easier when I was in my 20’s and even my early 30’s. As an older African, the answers to the question of where to find African singles is a little tricky. Sure, there are multiple places to go to find African singles of are ages.
I have always stated that if I lived in Africa, I a will not need more than one source to find a suitable African partner. If you live abroad, your choices are truly limited especially if you are over 30.
If you are dating, you want to try every dating outlet at least once. You name them, I have tried them all. Here is my experiences so far.
The common places to meet an African partner are churches, African parties, events, festivals, tinder, Facebook, and dating sites like match.com, plentyoffish, Zoosk, etc.
Those African Churches
Most African churches are notorious for identifying singles and making it painfully obvious that you need to settle down. Let me first state that I am not your average African church goer. I am a catholic and the places I have lived have zero to no African Catholic churches. If you live in populated African States like Virginia, Maryland or New York, you may be in luck. Your church may have “some” singles in the congregation. I have never been a member of an all African church so my knowledge on this dating outlet is limited. My fellow older African singles however, have shared their experiences with me over the years.
So back to some African churches making it painfully obvious that you are single and you need to settle down. First, there will be one or two singles oriented church group that you may be forced to join. If you don’t and you show up every Sunday alone with no ring on your finger or kids in tow, you stick out like a sore thumb. These groups organize social events for singles to meet and hopefully find a partner. I have been invited to join a few church social events and here is what I will say about my experience.
There are usually 10 or more singles ladies present to the 30 or so single men. Talk about the odds of talking to someone exclusively. Out of the 10 or so single ladies, 4 or 5 will be what i consider “not my type.” But hey, someone else may see them differently. Just my observations :). 1 or 2 out of the 10 may either be too young or too old for you. You look past those quickly especially in a church setting. You don’t want to have the reputation of the older guy who likes to hit on the much younger ladies. Then there will be 1 or 2 really attractive singles. Trust me, these ladies know when all the attention is on them. They know when they have the advantage over all the others. Some of these ladies will take full advantage of the situation and may have an attitude. I don’t blame them though. You have most of the men talking over themselves trying to get your attention.
Ultimately, my experience with African churches have been the same. Out of all the single ladies in the church, one or two will fit the criteria of what I am looking for. But every other African male in the church also sees what I see. You have a choice to jump into the gladiator pit and fight till you are the last man standing. Or you hope for the new attractive single to join the church and for that opportunity to say hello to her first.
The biggest heartburn I have faced as the bachelor in the African church is the endless line of pastors, deacons and other church members who constantly feel the need to pray for you. The need to have you come up in front of the church to receive prayers. The constant reminder that I am praying for you to find a partner by other church members. I hardly doubt that anyone has ever gone home and prayed for me to find a partner. That ‘I will pray for God to produce a partner” is a pity statement in my opinion.
There are some success stories that have come out Africa churches and people have found life long partners in churches. Since I moved to the United States over 20 years ago, I have met and dated only one person in church. It is possible to find someone in church. Your choices as an older African looking for love may be limited, but you never know, right?
In the follow-up blogs, I will share my experiences with the other dating avenues and sites.
Source: Kwadjo Panyin of www.musingsofanafricanbachelor.com
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