Guest Feature Blog : Shoo. Shoo. Kindly Leave Gifty Anti Alone

My Dear Sisters in Christ,

Let me seize this opportunity to join the chorus of fake 'congrats' that you have showered on Gifty Anti.

Don't worry. She is married. And it is for real. Her marital status has changed. Get familiar. Too bad right? I know. I know. Listen, shit happens. I mean that wasn't the initial plan but hey, she slipped through your evil barbed net of jealousy and envy. Pick on someone else. Not Nana Aba. That will amount to bullying. Maybe Ama K? Just move unto the next chick Bitch. Kyeiwaa? Pascaline Edwards? Your choice.

Hey, I not reinventing anything. This is me re-echoing the theme of your lame depressed life. Or?

Well,I have been pestered with, especially on Facebook your resolve to tow the same line that she has tread on up until she being blessed with the 'Royal Wedding'. 

I understand and sympathize with your miserable situation.  just so we are clear about the pertaining 'situation', lets for instance take the just ended 3day old #nobraday into account.

You are not even 30yrs old. But unlike the way you brandished your iphone and Valentine day's gift on your social media timelines so we all envy and mistake you for our role models, we did not see any 'action' on the 'boobs day' level. Clearly the seams of your breast were squeezed out of your chest a long time ago when you were preparing to write your SHS remedial.

That wasn't it? Your breast rolled and fell flat before your confirmation service during your 'JY' days when you found Christ at your former Presbyterian Church?

Well, sometimes life is fair. Your breast is what it is. You just got served. The evidence of that 'wear and tear' is so prominent that you support your 'tatale' pair of breast with 'tissue suspenders'. I'd do same if I were you. Life support mechanisms aren't criminal. And are tax free.

Have you seen Gift Anti's chest even in the decent clothes she wears? Any experienced breast 'informed' man like me can make a calculated guess but keep the results of the number of 'passengers' who might have passed through that sacred area. Apologies to Nana Ansa Kwao. I salute Sir. #peace

Sisters, Please save your soul from anymore heart ache by not deluding your self into thinking her fate is simple physics and within your reach. You don't have a chance at her gay. When you storm MOGPA to pray and cast incantations and curse on your enemies, mention her and wish her well. She deserves it. You, I am sorry to remind, DO NOT.

She is supposed to be forty or something like that. Drives a car she bought from a store through a job we all saw her start and grow into a franchise in a hell hole like GBC.

How did you pay for the iPhone 6 or the Samsung Edge that you use to take your selfies? You won a raffle? Lol. The last time you went to Aqua Safari, who took you there? Sorry I am placing you where you don't belong. I mean the last time you went to 'Kwahu ooo Kwahu', where did you sleep? And how did you come back to Accra? Great. Tu Comprend? Oui? Sweet. Excuse my French.

Do you even have any idea what it takes to work and not only survive but succeed in an environment like GBC?

Please this is not the time to plough in your plight.

I know it hurts. So instead of the stench of your comical me too 'my redeemer liveth' and 'obiara burga b3 ba' and 'rock of ages, cleft for me', count your losses and get a life.

Add value to your self. Success is not sexually transmitted. Shut your mouth and orient your mind into a state of positivity. As a consolation, you will probably get a twisted mind like me to have mercy on you at some point in your life so you too can shear tears of relieve. What? You think Gifty 'shared' those tears with you? Well, she shed them because of amongst other things, You!

Love you to bits though. But brace your self. I, and a few other male children of God could end up being your worst nightmare. Shalom.

TTYL

@uhurubardman

Kwame Agyemang Berko

(Poet. Essayist. Human Rights Activist)