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Thursday, January 28, 2016

Guest Blog: KKD, Religion; The Girls We Have Raped And Our Reap

The oldest book’s first recorded case of felony aka un-bailable offense isn’t rape. It is Cain and his brother Abel’s joke gone bad . We might be wrong. #justmaybe

The setting of the kangaroo court presided over by God himself to adjudicate that crime as recorded in the book of Genesis is clear and gives in my opinion, enough indication that rape, at least according to religion, wasn’t a societal problem.

My fellow men of God, as we proceed, again based on scripture, we are told of how naked Adam woke up from a deep sleep and found another human being loitering in his Garden of Eden.

Upon sighting of this new game,It wont be far fetched to assume that blood immediately rushed into a certain part of his body( a reaction which will be new to him) so he calls out to his heavenly father and friend in a scene looking more like this…………….(Act 1 scene 1)

Adam: *whispering in a Ga accent* Paddy. Paddy. Paddy(Whisper turns into shout)

Oluman! Kw3 Paddy Whats up! Chale abeg I want see you right now o! Ataa Naa numor eii! Abeg make unna drop before things go go down wey u go pass top revoke ma rent!

(Loud wind and thunder precedes God’s introduction into the drama set inside Garden Of Eden)

Adam: uh huh. Welcome Egya Oyankopong,

God: Massa asem ben? Make it quick.

Adam: errmerrm (lowers voice into a whisper) who is the other person playing with the cheetah? (Adam points at naked Eve who is playing with the wild cat a few meters away)

God: ah ah ah. is this why you called me? Anyway I understand your frustration. The other human you see is a bi-product of your system; I created her using one of your ribs. I have done that to save you the trouble of boredom and also to prevent incidents where you might insert your penis into any monkey’s virgina.

Her name is Eve and in response to the question your erection is asking, she will serve as your companion .

please don’t even think of asking me directions into her vagina. You two should be able to figure that out.

And finally I must add that there is no dosage to the act of being inside her within a day or any hour or year. Good luck Adam. You are on your own with this one.

(A smiling Adam is seen kneading the fine pair of balls in his scrotum in anticipation of the sexual bout with Eve once God has finished his orientation)

Adam: (a visibly excited Adam) Safe journey back home Ts3 Ataa!

That will be all!

But I go fit give am doggy? Blow jobs be part of the package? She get say for the fuck inside? Abeg eno bi say I dey fcuk am saa den you go come vex say I over eat the cunt o……hello? U dey der?Ei God u go? Hello? Yoo. I no sen o…..(exit Act 1 scene 2)

If you take or add a little depending on your faith or moral standing or even your proficiency in mannerisms, the above dialogue might have ensued between the first mentor and protégée recorded under the sun.

Don’t forget they were real tight friends.

Re-read your Holy Bible before you come looking for me.

Humanity has since come a long way. Civilization has done same. Maybe more. The act of rape has also enjoyed some reforms for better or for worse.

According to today’s criminal code, rape or sexual assault can be leveled against any man mid-way through consensual sex. That is just the way God’s world has become,and a man’s life will never be the same.

Ask King Kwasi Kyei Darkwa .

Maybe since God created man in his own image he assumed we would attach some level of reverence to love making and even sex.

Without any proof of God handing out a sex manual to man in the beginning, the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit(DOVSU) of Ghana’s Police service labors in vain.

The fact that Moses didn’t see a reason to remind God on the need for sexual assault to have been captured in the 10 ‘DON’T’S’ spelled in our 1st constitution centuries later bothers me .

Quite clearly, the free-range system where sexual fortune favored only the physically strong could have persisted and gained roots in the character fabric of man since creation.

If today’s woman cannot conveniently report any degree of sexual assault just like she will do if she suffered a burglary, then what chance or options were available to naked Eve in the Garden of Eden if she at a certain point in her life didn’t feel like bending over for naked Adam?

If Adam ever coerced her into sex, what will God have done? Counsel them?

May be.

But will that discussion have erased the abuse already suffered and recorded by Eve? Rape is old. Might as well have been the first case of felon IF Eve had kept a diary.

The rules of engagement in sex was subject to, until civilization reared its tentacles, one party in the act succumbing to the aggressor’s demand with or without consent.

The law on sexual assault/aggression/rape as it stands today, upholds what on paper seems a fairer route into a woman’s vagina.

But it is man’s inability to walk the dictates of the law that has made most of us assailants in the dome of sex.

Show me a man and I will show you a rapist.

Fellow child of God, If you frown , yes common F-R-O-W-N at your wife’s decision that she is tired and will rather sleep than give in to your sexual advances, that reaction aka squeeze your face , could amount to torture or assault if she gives in to your demand based on ‘that assault’. Your crime statement would read something more like this;

1. Originally she wanted to sleep or read a novel.

2. You frowned at her want to be left alone so she had to give in to your demand.

3. That is assault once a complaint has been lodged with the Police.

4. As part of Police efforts to enforce the law, you the husband turned accused, will be picked up and kept behind bars until the state is finished with its further investigations.

5. You are then arraigned before a court for the matter of sexual assault or even rape to be determined.

6. If your wife withdraws the complaint against you, the state reserves the right to, based on evidence gathered, pursue the case or discontinue it. #RapeGalore

7.  You should at this stage start reaching out to your village fetish Priest for back-up or the registrar at Edumfa Pentecostal Prayer Center before the state firms up its interest in your ‘fleecing pleasure(s) of the flesh!

As evidenced in the state’s decision to pursue KKD, the God of Job, and with the benefit of hindsight, was his fortress.

His case was an interesting one. And the fact that he won’t shut up alone makes if more interesting.

For the state to have decided to pursue the case without the complaint (Ms Efe Thompson had written to the courts sighting pressure and wise counsel among others as reasons she wasn’t interested) is a bold move in view of the public interest.

I hoped against hope that was not to waste our precious space on traditional and social media. Eventually they walked away entirely. And KKD went to church with his Dad to thank God for his near escape.

As for King Kwasi Kyei Darkwa, what do we not know of his situation?

The one that he initially saw  nothing wrong with his consensual sexual intercourse with a 19 year old in a public place of convenience? No worries.

Former Ghanaian Chronicle reporter turned Lawyer, William Nyarko, now domiciled in the USA says he killed stories of allegations of rape that came across his desk whilst working for Kofi Coomson.

Though he admits allegations alone cant be confirmation for actual crimes committed, he will make sure his daughters flee from any district or colony that KKD will mount a platform to preach or sell life. Now that is the mark of a wise man. Who says karma isn’t a female dog? Only KKD can at this stage let us in on what he has reaped from his “fleecing pleasure of the flesh”, as he aptly puts it.

The law on varying degrees of sexual assault is very stiff but I wont vote for a review. Our females have suffered enough. And still do. Just ask your mother(pls don’t Ga translate this).

For us that he and his apologist have tagged haters of his past nonsense, this tribute to the 07.01.15 Paris terrorist attack sums up my motivation.

“In 2012, in an interview with Le Monde, Stephane Charbonnier, Charlie Hebdo’s director, was asked if he was tempted to tone down the publication’s inclination towards the inflammatory; ”it may sound pompous” he replied, “but I’d rather die standing than live on my knees”. He was one of the first to be shot by during the criminal siege that ended his life.

But make no mistake; he never died on his knees.

Indeed King Kwasi Kyei Darkwa must embrace his blessings and every waking moment for i doubt God is done with him yet. Even him.

#stillwerise

By Kwame Agyemang Berko - Poet. Essayist. Humorist - @uhurubardman on Twitter

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