Hello and welcome to a Piece of Peace, your weekly dose of motivation and inspiration. This week I would like to share with you on the topic “Needs Vs. Wants.” A long time ago in an economics lecture, I remember my professor introducing the topic of scarcity. He explained by saying, “all human beings have needs, but there are scarce resources to satisfy those needs hence we have to make a choice.” The issue of choice denotes that, one has to make a selection between two options.
On that premise, we need certain tools to help us make and identify that choice. As humans we are programed to go with the option we cannot live without. This is known as a need. The choice that we leave behind is usually referred to as the want. In economic theory, choosing one usually means you have to lose out on the benefits of the other.
In life, these choices can be slightly difficult to make. We convince ourselves that things that are meant to be wants are actually needs.
It has been several years since that economics lecture. I personally did not think the subject was for me hence I decided to stroll into the psychology lecture room instead. Last night my friend was going through some drama in her love life. Naturally, she was having her customary emotional break down. Every so often, the new couple will have a big fight, usually about something, which was entirely his fault, as she likes to put it. Today the drama was over her birthday.
Instead of celebrating the special event with her, he completely forgot and opted for a boy’s night out instead. My friend did not make a big fuss about it all day because she thought he had planned a surprise for her but when at 11:45 pm, the love of her life had still not called, her typically calm and well mannered demeanor was substituted for something less refined. She was heart broken. Her problem was, this was their first birthday since they started dating a couple of months ago. “Is this not the honeymoon period,” she avers to me as she cries loudly. During her emotional rant, she said one thing that stood out to me. I NEED HIM.
Up until that point, I had calmly played the supportive role of telling her everything will be ok and things will get better. But that statement I felt needed to be addressed. The problem with a lot of relationships especially in the beginning stage is, it feels like everything means so much more than it really should. The euphoria of finding love usually makes you feel like that feeling is everything you need. There is a big difference between fighting for what you think you want and what you actually need.
All you need is God and yourself. You have to be enough for yourself because that is all you have. You decide what treatment you will and will not accept. The worst thing you can do is believe that someone other than yourself, holds the key to your happiness. When that happens you relinquish your ability to progress and transfer your power into the hands of someone who really shouldn’t have that control. Your happiness is in your hands, certainly not in something you want. Be smart. Know the difference between a need and a want and no matter what you do, always remember, be yourself because everyone else is taken.
Much love,
Peace Hyde.
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